In
a recent interview with Encomium magazine, Halima Abubakar is once again
speaking on marriage….
Recently,
there was a post that you said you’re not interested in marriage any longer. Why
did you concluded on that?
Yes,
because marriage has been overrated. It’s unnecessarily over rated. It’s just
too much of headache with how things are now. Even ordinary relationship is a
huge burden, huge headache and heartbreaking, let alone marriage. When you
can’t stand each other as boyfriend and girlfriend, how would you live together
under the same roof when you get married?
People
need to know themselves seriously. When I say seriously, I mean spiritually
before getting married. People only know themselves physically, not
spiritually, so they end up getting bored with each other. And they will say
they don’t want to get divorce because of what society would say after
investing so much on the marriage. Continue...
They
stay in that marriage and later it may become very irritating and they start
fighting. Before they know it, everything becomes violent. You hear people say
all sorts of things. You’re the one who allowed people to get to you and start
telling you you’re getting old. You’re the one allowing them to convince you
that you’re getting old, you need to get married. Everyone will surely get old.
Who won’t get old? So, when people say I am getting old, get married, I would
tell them that’s the only thing they know. People carry marriage like a flag.
That
means it’s the way people put it that makes it irritating to you?
Yes,
it’s very irritating. When you’re not my father nor my mother and you’re more
concerned than them. So people should face their problems. They also have a lot
of problems in their lives. Why are they poke nosing into my life and trying to
make me take a drastic decision I may regret tomorrow. So you know if you push
me to get married and I end up probably not loving my husband the way I am
meant to love him.
I’m
not saying Nigerians are the cause but who is the fault? Everybody would be
like “I don’t know why they cannot keep marriage as if they as individuals have
kept their marriages. Marriage these days is like a glass that needs to be
threaded with care and a lot of attention. It’s like a school, you need to
study very well. My parents have been married for about 39 years. So when
people say things they don’t know about me, I just look at them and laugh. I
really don’t need to say anything. Out of the fact that I am fighting and
creating awareness for domestic violence and some other things add up either
frustration or anger or pity for the woman who is late, some people come on my
page and start insulting me because of my personal decision or choice. I don’t
know how it affects anyone.
Does
that mean Halima is really not going to get married?
No,
people should only try to be nice about marriage to make me interested in it.
Don’t tell me actresses don’t stay in marriage. Olu Jacobs and Joke Silva have
been married for long and they’re still in the marriage. nothing happened to
their union.
Omotola
and her husband have been married for long, they’re still very much together.
She got married at a young age which is good. What I am trying to say is that
going into marriage needs a lot, you don’t just go into it. My elder sister got
married at 26 and she’s doing fine in the marriage with her husband.
Now,
tell me why won’t I want a family like that? But these days, people are just
too much into social media, that’s why marriages are crashing. Marriage these
days is not based on happiness and genuine love. Let me ask, who is that poor
person that has married a billionaire son? So, why won’t marriage crash when
it’s not based on happiness and genuine love?
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