Woman
sends a very encouraging letter to every married woman out there and I hope
after reading this might help one or two women going through
similar
issue in their marriage.
Dear
Readers,
My
husband and I are childhood sweethearts, we started dating in secondary school
and got married immediately after university. God blessed us with twin boys
after our marriage and three more beautiful children in the subsequent years.
As
I looked after the kids and made our house a home, my husband was out hustling
and building our family business. When the kids grew a bit older I joined him
and we built a stronger business which became very lucrative.
As
our financial status was changing, our circle of friends changed too. Our new
friends were movers and shakers of the community which we lived in. However,
the new changes in my husband worried me. He started spending less time with me
and the kids. he was always absent on our kids birthday and we stopped going to
church together. He was always on the phone whenever he was at home, stopped
picking his calls in my presence.
My
instincts told me there was another woman in the picture. I rang my mum and she
told me till I confirmed there is another woman in the picture I should ignore
it. How can I ignore something like this I asked myself? One faithful night my
phone rang around 2am. I was in a panic! My husband was on a business trip I
was scared something had happened to him. With shaky hands I picked the phone.
Hello..Hello.. and no one answered.
I
waited again and then heard a moan on the other end. I listen again and it was
a woman moaning and heard my husband say “You are so sweet darling”. It became
clear to me, my husband was having sexual intercourse with another woman and
called me to listen or maybe his phone mistakenly called me. I listened
painfully for 10 seconds and then dropped and then called him. He did not pick.
The phone kept going to voice mail.
My
husband came back home after three days and I confronted him and he accepted
it. He told me he worked so hard for the family and needed a distraction. He
also said that he didn't get to have many girlfriends like other men had in the
past because of our long relation. My world was broken down. I wanted to leave
the house and go far away.
I
felt very disappointed that my first and only love could betray me like this.
My husband stopped hiding and lying about his women. He openly cheated on me
and even went as far as bringing his women to the house. I moved out of our
matrimonial bed to the guest room. I became a shadow of myself and the kids
suffered too as I didn't really look after them as much as before.
I
invited his people (family members) to our home and told them what he was doing.
He promised to change but never did. Each time I confronted him, he told me to
leave if I was not happy. My mother came from the village to look after the
kids and while she was at it we spoke a lot.
She
told me marriage is patience and she told me as soon as I leave another woman
will replace me and this woman will maltreat my children. She also told me that
even if I decided to take our fives kids with me there was no way I could take
care of them financially by myself.
I
thought about what my mother told me for months and made the biggest and
hardest decision in my life. I was not leaving my husband and will never leave
him, women will come and go but I will stay here and take whatever from our
business and look after our kids.
I
will not suffer to build a business and let another woman come enjoy it. Never!
As I type two women have come and gone so far and I am still here…
To the young and single women,
marriage is not a bed of roses. It is all about compromise… It is what you both put in it
and most importantly, the future of the children result from the marriage.
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